A man called 911 because his neighbors were being “mean” and refused to drink with him on his birthday. He called 911 again 30 minutes later with the exact same complaint and was arrested. A Wisconsin man called 911 to ask for assistance in removing a woman from his bed who was “snoring like a […]
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility … Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’ A: ‘No sir. […]
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the […]
A driver was caught in an automated camera speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter […]
*People shout, “I didn’t do it!” when you walk into a room. *Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery in progress at shift change. *You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see. *You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce. *You believe Prozac should be […]
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. […]
Last night while on patrol I conducted a traffic stop for a moving violation. After contacting the African-American female driver and conducting a record check I decided to ask for consent to search her car based on her (numerous) prior drug convictions. During the search, I find 40 boxes of pseudoephedrine hidden underneath the spare […]
Sort of like the ‘Murphy’s’ Law, as it applies to Law Enforcement. My apologies if this has been posted before. 1. ‘Bullet Proof’ vests aren’t. 2. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also punch, kick and choke harder too. 3. The speed at which you respond to a fight call is inversely […]
This is why your mother told you not to date police officers After my shift on my Friday (that would be Tuesday to anyone else) I went on a date with a women I met recently. We met at a nice restaurant in town and things seemed to go really great. Since it was early we decided […]