Aug 062010
 
Funny Police Sayings

Funny Police Sayings

  • You have the bladder capacity of five people.
  • You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
  • You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.
  • Your idea of a good time is an armed robbery and a car chase.
  • You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.
  • Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.


  • You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
  • You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.
  • You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
  • You have your weekends off planned for a year.
  • You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
  • You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, it sure is quiet tonight.”
  • A little “stick time” has nothing to do with baseball.
  • (Can you say “TAZER”???)
  • You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which its located.
  • You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide…getting it right the first time.”
  • You have ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.
  • You believe the Watch Sgt. is a crap magnet possessed by a demon.
  • Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
  • You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
  • The person you’re speaking with states, “That’s not mine. I have no idea how that got there.”
  • You believe anyone who says, “I only had two beers” is going to blow more than a .15
  • You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.
  • People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places.
  • You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.
  • You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.
  • You walk into places and people think it’s high comedy to seize their buddy and shout, “They’ve come to get you, Bill.”
  • You do not see daylight from November until May.


  • People shout, “I didn’t do it!” when you walk into a room and think they’re being hugely funny and original.
  • You’ve ever started a sentence with the phrase “We had this awesome dead body earlier. You should have seen it.”
  • A week’s worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks, and 5 pairs of underwear.
  • You’ve ever referred to Thursday as “My Monday”.
  • You’ve ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.
  • Anyone has ever said, “There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me.”
 08/06/2010  Posted by on 08/06/2010 Humor