I don’t claim in any way to be the author of any of these but I do like them.
- “God believes in separation of church and state, it’s call the Rapture!”
- “If you find a job you like you won’t work a day in your life.”
- “Men love who they are attracted to, woman are attracted to whom they love.”
- “It’s how you look, not how GOOD you look that counts. There is a man out there who will love the way you look.”
- “Someone who is nice to me, but not nice to the waiter is NOT a nice person.”
- “Any day above ground is a good day.”
- “want to know what your spouse thinks? Answer the question yourself and the complete opposite is what your spouse would think.”
- "My Brilliance is the only thing that overshadows my humility!"
- "It is more important to BE the right person than it is to FIND the right person!"
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird… Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?